Annals online dating
I am seeking a man who is also versatile and fluent, moving easily between realms of feeling and intellect; a man who is grounded in his own perspective, and also willing and able to see from a woman’s perspective.
You won’t like me (and I won’t like you) if you don’t like brainy women and wild and wonderful conversational flights about the meaning of absolutely everything. I am seeking a man who is also interested in experiencing the world in all dimensions: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual.The first category is hard to peg: the messages seem to be intended as advice; but they also seem to be responding to a challenge I hadn’t consciously issued in my profile. altho’ maybe our Pres Obama strikes me as that kind of man … The second category comes from men whose messages I’ve responded to, or who’ve responded to a message from me.They say that I am asking the impossible, for example: extremely well written is your profile … having read it several times I am compelled to ask – have you ever met a man with an abundance of all 5 attributes you describe? When someone wants to connect with me, I’ve learned to first send that person to my Website.It gives a fairly good account of my interests and obsessions; there are videos of me giving talks; and it has had the salubrious effect of preventing awkward encounters with men who find my politics or spiritual life distasteful, for instance.I am drawn to a man who has awareness of his time of life, not as a dwindling down, but as the supremely interesting completion (no rush, mind you) of the lifelong project of making meaning.I am seeking a man who also desires to remain wide awake, engaged, curious and true to himself; one who also wants to see and be seen; love and be loved; move and be moved; meet and be met.
I expected the rewrite to vastly reduce the volume of coffee dates; I also thought the connections would be deeper. Indeed, I inactivated my profile for a few months while I dated the first person who responded to my new profile, a delicious interlude, fun but not forever.
But when I went back online a couple of months ago, along with some promising responses, I began to receive fairly regular messages that fell into two categories.
I have taken a poll of my friends, and the results are in: no one who actually knows me finds me intimidating.
In fact, it seems I have a reputation for putting people at ease in conversation.
I felt the need to conduct this research this because I have been getting some strange results in online dating world. I wrote back in January that I’d changed my online profile to be less about likes and dislikes—the usual stuff—and much more a straightforward statement of what I was seeking.
In January, I wrote about the first of five qualities I listed there, “Vitality and Chemistry.” Here are the other four (which share profile space with sections on work, music, and so on: Expansive consciousness.